I Am The Absolute
The end of a wanderer, based on the teachings of
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
6. You must meditate on the ‘I am’ without holding on to the body-mind, the ‘I am’ is the first ignorance, persist on it and you will go beyond it.
Bring all your attention to the ‘I am’, meditate on it; try to do it by keeping the body-mind totally aside. In the beginning the body-mind would resist this reversion but with practice they would automatically not interfere. Remember, this ‘I am’ has tricked you into believing the unreal so you may call it the first ignorance. You have to be after this ‘I am’ constantly only then you can go beyond it, otherwise it will continue playing games with you.
7. The feeling ‘I am’ comes to you only because there is something older or earlier in you to which this ‘I am’ appears.
Ponder over a question like: To whom does the feeling ‘I am’ come? Or, what was I prior to the arrival of the knowledge ‘I am’? When you do so, you will realize that there has to be something older or something before on which this ‘I am’ appears. The more the time you spend in the ‘I am’ without words, the stronger the conviction would grow about this ‘something’ that is prior to the ‘I am’. Finally that ‘something’ is your goal and to be focused upon, for that is your true Absolute nature.
8. The interval between the beginning of ‘I am’ (birth or waking) and until you lose it again (death or deep sleep) is called ‘time’.
This whole concept of time is based on the appearance and disappearance of the ‘I am’. The arrival and departure of the ‘I am’ from birth to death is called a life-time, while that from waking up to falling asleep a day-time. Accordingly you say ‘his life-time has come to an end’ or ‘It is the end of the day’. The ‘I am’ linked up with memory maintains a continuity throughout your life.
9. Thoroughly investigate the appearance and disappearance of the ‘I am’ – did you desire it, or did it just happen?
Understanding, meditation and conviction grow together, therein one of the important question that is asked, is about the appearance and disappearance of the ‘I am’. The question is that did it occur through your wanting or desiring? Was it a volitional process? If you have correctly understood the ‘I am’ the answer would be that it came and would go spontaneously, on its own. This would strike a blow to the belief you hold that you are ‘doer’ and may even end it.